New Years Eve

That time of year has come back around. The old year is finishing and the promise of a bright, sparkly new year is full of hope and possibility. The new year could hold any number of wonders and delights. If we look at previous form it is more likely to hold a shovel load of shit but none of it has happened yet. It is 1:45 in the morning on New Years Eve and I can't sleep. Damn it. So I thought I may as well get up and blog a little.

I love the promise of a pristine new year. Nothing has gone wrong in 2010. No one has been hurt, caused my loved ones pain, or been an asshole in 2010. 2009 may have been full of stupid people who need a good smack in the head but none of them have interfered with my 2010. I feel full of hope that by some miracle I can remove all the crap of 2009 and move into a shiney new year. I recognise that unless the earth chooses to open up and selectively swallow certain people I will have to continue to deal with them but perhaps now that I am a year older I may have been granted the wisdom and calm to deal with all things insane. I stand on the threshold of a beautiful new year and looking out across the time span is like seeing a snow field of fresh snow unsullied by man. Looking back at the year behind me I see the path that I have travelled, all the wonderful stops along the way where I got to share so much love, joy and happiness with my family and friends. True there are a couple of spots where some idiot has tried to urinate their name in the snow, but all in all a good year and definately more love than piss.

So what have I learnt this year? What can I take from the mistakes and trials of this year and turn into lessons to help me grow?

1. I have learnt that Ben will divorce me if I add another animal to the household.
2. I have learnt the he probably doesn't mean it because he loves the dog just as much as the rest of us.
3. I have learnt that while I love my cats they are mine. It took the dog for Alex to find great love and happiness from a pet.
4. I have learnt that you can buy happiness. It comes in a little tablet and costs about $30 a month.
5. I have learnt that I need to practise saying "no".
6. I have learnt that sometimes things that I spend months worrying about turn out to be a tiny bump in the road and weren't that bad after all.
7. I have learnt that my children are amazing and never to underestimate how great they are.
8. I have learnt that I am a lot more creative than I give myself credit for.
9. I have learnt that I would never have become the person I am today if my husband hadn't been such a loving and supportive man.
10. I have learnt that I really like my husband. I know it's not something that should be admitted in certain circles but there you have it, oh and I like spending time with him too.
11. I have learnt that it is possible to find a job you really love.
12. I have learnt that good friends are something special to treasure and that they make your life a lot more interesting, a little scary sometimes but definately more interesting.
13. I have learnt that you can buy three flagons of sherry at 9:00am from Dan Murphy's but the staff will offer you a straw.
14. I have learnt that my favourite lounge was in fact edible.
15. I have learnt that you can have rainbow snot if you use enough petal dust.
16. I have learnt that no matter how much you may want to you can't smack the stupity out of someone. While I am fairly certain it would feel great to give it a try it just isn't a long term solution, and you aren't supposed to be as stupid as they are.

So that's what I've come up with while I sit here pondering life, the universe and everything. I admit I have no better answer than 42, so for now I may as well stick with that. On the other hand anyone that has bothered to make it this far into my ramblings can feel free to make a contribution to the lessons of 2009. I look forward to knowing what other lessons can be obtained from the year gone by.

I hope your new year is as magical and wonderous as it promises to be. May your glass always be full and your hangovers minimal.

Dan xxx

cool photo

If you look carefully you can see that Alex is shooting water straight into the dogs mouth. I really liked this photo so thought I would share.

Dan xxx

Nearly there

Not long now and it will be Christmas day. Have started getting ready to have friends over for New Years Day. Then I get to kick back and enjoy the school holidays with the kids. So far it has been nice to have Ben home for a change. Normally he works every day except for the public holidays but this year he has decided to take some time off work. He has been really motivated and has been tidying up in the house and in the front yard. He put a nice wood panel up out the front and after it was done we had the joy of sitting in the lounge room listening to the spac next door going off her tree. 'Tis the season to be jolly.



Have discovered that while a $2 bottle of wine is a very drinkable proposition the $1.99 stuff is crap. Apparently that extra 1c makes a difference. Who would have thought that 1c could still be so important? Mind you I have 2 boxes of the stuff. Will we be flushing it down the loo? Gosh no! By the third bottle for the evening it tastes great. Lets be honest one of my friends adds lemonade to her red wine, so if I'm cracking a bottle with her I am certainly not going to break out the good stuff.

Went out for the work Christmas party last night. Had an absolute ball. The restaurant was in Parramatta and was called Inside Out. The food was magnificent. Expensive but magnificent. Fortunately my incredibly generous employers paid for the evening so Ben and I had a lovely meal, a lot of laughs and generally a great evening and only had to pay for our parking. Cool huh? Ben offered to let me drink and he would drive but as I am really attached to my job I thought it best I not drink. The problem with Ben drinking was that when we got home we started having bizarre conversations. We started chatting about my password that I used for the Bank. I had rung them that morning to find out whether or not they were planning on giving me back the money that had been stolen from my Visa card. Apparently when we joined the bank I had given them a word that I could use so that I was allowed to speak to a human being on the phone about my account. I had forgotten about this so I had to guess. Fortunately it was a good guess and therefore they were able to tell me that they really had no idea how things were going and I would just have to wait. For reasons that I can't quite remember right now I decided to tell Ben about the Bank conversation at 1:ooam after he had consumed vast amounts of alcohol. So instead of having a sensible conversation we got a bit sidetracked over the whole issue of the password. He accused me of having a boring and predictable password. Ben felt that if a word had to be provided to your financial institution then it should be incredibly random and put the person on the other end of the line on edge. Some of the suggestions were:

Blood lust
Random stabbing
Loading guns
Fight club
Killer instinct
Death to bankers
Drug run
Counterfeit money
Buildings burn
I can see you
Psycho
Toungie

You get the drift. We spent the wee hours of the morning giggling away because of all the stupid little phrases that we felt should be used for passwords.

So that's my life up to now. I have to go finish doing my baking so that I am ready for Christmas. I hope you all have a joy filled Christmas and that your families are good to you. If they aren't we still have the list.

Love to you all. Dan xxxx

Frazzled

Feeling a little over everything. Both my little beautiful babies seem to be okay at the moment, which I am truely thankful for. They both have stuff going on which makes life interesting. I have a lot of doctors appointments at the moment, which I am a bit over. Have to book myself into hospital which is a little worrying. Not sure how to discuss it with the kids. Alex gets so worried about everything and Emma bottles stuff. Haven't got up the nerve to discuss it with them yet. Booked in for my MRI on the school holidays, hope they find my brain. So many appointments and so many people relying on me to be a grown up. Must stop blogging when I am drunk. Must stop getting drunk to make the world go away.

finished for the term

I know there is still one more week of school for the kids but for me the last cake walked out the door this morning and I won't have any more cakes until next term. The beer mug cake turned out to be popular, which was to be expected. The wedding caked was eventually picked up and the bride was happy with it, I'm just happy it's gone, although I never truely feel finished until the last of the leftovers are out of the house. Thank heavens I have so many people prepared to help me out with clearing the left overs.

Emma seems to be just fine. I talked to her about the blood from her arm and she said that hadn't bothered her. Perhaps it just took a while for her brain to catch up. I sat her down to have a very serious talk about the fact that worms couldn't possibly come out of her arm (all the mums were having a joke while she was bleeding) but apparently she didn't hear any of it. She did think the idea was funny when I told her and didn't faint again so I'm guessing that hasn't bothered her at all. The fact that she didn't remember any of the conversation we were all having around her while she was bleeding possibly indicates her mind was a little more focused on the blood than she thought. I got a couple of phone calls from people who had driven by and saw her down and one of the neighbours kids popped over to check she was okay. By Monday morning everyone in the school should know that Emma fainted, hope the gossip doesn't go insane. Alex is just so relieved that he isn't going to loose his sister, he had got a little teary when we picked up the car and was telling me that he would really miss Emma if she was gone. I swear that child is slightly South American, he jumps to panic so quickly, she fainted but he is starting to work himself into a panic that she was going to die. Thankfully everything is all fine now.

For those of you with a long car trip on the way, I found a really cool puzzle at Big W. It was in with the books and is called "IQ Challenge" it is one of those write on wipe off jobs. It has a pen and cleaning cloth packed in the box and the box itself is sturdy enough to use as a little table. The kids have been enjoying the puzzles and they come in a range of levels to keep them thinking for a while. It was only $10, so I am considering going back up there and getting another one for Emma's classroom.

Hope everyone is looking forward to the school holidays as much as I am.

Dan xxx

pished again

Helene and I have had a lovely evening improving the economy. We drank two bottles of alcohol and consumed a number of snackies. We also felt the Twilight can never be watched too often. So by consuming vast quantities of alcohol we are keeping the people at Dan Murphy's employed, by eating snackies we are keeping the people at Woolworths and the gym employed (I'm going to have to work this off tomorrow) and by watching Twilight....actually there is no valid excuse, I just looooooove it. So I will leave you with a little piece of wisdom. The eyes are the nipples of the face.

Dan xxxx

phone list

It occured to me that establishing a phone list or ladder would be helpful to our group when an emergency arises. We all know the day will come when one of us ends one of our kids (quite deservedly) and it will become the responsibility of the group to hide the body. So as not to have panic and mayhem, and of course to keep the alibi straight you simply call the next name on the list and ask them to bring their item and then they will ring the next name on the list.

Dan - Shovel
Donna - Lime
Helene - Garbage bags
Relle - Drinks
Nat - Disinfectant
Des - Snacks
Sharon - Broom
Jess - Watering can

I think I have covered all the essentials. I tried to pick items that each person would find easily on hand around their home. Hope this helps you sleep easier tonight knowing there is a disaster recovery plan in place.

Thanks
Dan

question

What does it mean when it is 2:30 in the morning and you are pissed drunk and offering your husband any sexual desires he can come up with and he is offering you Star Wars with Norwegian sub titles? I think I need to work on my come hither looks. Or possibly my husband needs some serious denerding.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I have just started reading this book. Lots of the more memorable quotes from the Jane Austen novel, the story has been altered to include brain eating zombies. I like it. I always felt Jane Austen's novels could be improved by adding a little more blood shed and a couple of good knife fights. It was so bizarre I couldn't resist it.
Hope everyone had a great long weekend.
Dan

rejoice, rejoice

The date has been set. The next movie is due out on the 19th of November. I love you all dearly but if anyone tries to book a cake for that week I will be telling you to do something anatomically impossible. I feel a hot date with the girls coming on!!!!

The other fab news is that my side fence is going up. Woo hoo. The guys doing the work are very nice and two of them are a little shy. He he he. I think I may be scaring them but what the heck. My neighbour on the other hand has them absolutely amazed. She has already been over to tell them they are not allowed to touch her wall. Jacob (guess why I picked him out of the yellow pages) very politely told her that I had already very carefully explained that they were not to drill into the wall, put screws into the wall or glue the post onto the wall. She had an "episode" and informed them they were not allowed to touch the wall. Jacob was telling me about all this after the event. He was chuckling away saying that it was the first time he couldn't find anything to say when faced with finding a response to her madness. Bless him.

So the guys are back tomorrow morning. Anyone who can think of a good way to get them to work with their shirts off gets a free pie.

Dan xxxx

marsha

Dining arrangements at Camp Reid are second to none. We cater to the individual needs of each guest.

marsha

All campers at Camp Reid are provided with the finest in sleeping accomodation.

marsha

During her time at Camp Reid Marsha learnt to play chess.

Ben trying to put a jumper on the dog

As you can see the dog was loving it. Ben obviously had a great time too.

Holiday Update

So far Easter school holidays have been quite lovely. We started out with the traditional Good Friday lunch with my family. That always slows everyone down a bit, there are only ever eight of us but Mum puts out enough food for thirty and when we are ready to explode she puts out dessert. We also visit Ben's Mum on Good Friday so that we can have a quiet Easter. When we got to Ben's Mums we found out that some good soul had handed her six free tickets to see the raiders v sharks match on the Saturday night. Alex wanted to go so we kept two tickets for us (Emma decided she would rather not go) and gave four tickets to Desiree. Nice start.

Ben took Al to the football Saturday night and Emma and I stayed home. We did the girly thing, I painted her nails and we watched a movie and ordered Chinese. Unfortunately I started getting ill with a virus at this point so I didn't get to enjoy the food but the company was great.

Spent most of Sunday in bed horribly ill.

Monday we went to Questacon in Canberra. The kids had an amazing time. They learnt all sorts of cool stuff and had a great time. Both kids passed out in the back of the car on the way home, they had so much fun and were exhausted.

Tuesday we packed up the car and drove into the CBD to stay at Crowne Plaza. Lovely hotel. Little hard to find, took one drive by to find the entrance. They were very nice and let us check in at 10am, which is really convenient because we wanted to see Monsters v Aliens at Imax at 11am. The movie was great, definately worth seeing. We had lunch at Darling Harbour and were booked in to do one of those Jet Boat things in the afternoon. Unfortunately when we arrived to do the boat thing they were double booked, so we missed out. We wandered around to the Aquarium and had a lovely time exploring the exhibits. The dugongs are fascinating to watch. Kids enjoyed themselves and managed to forget how tired they were until the walk back to the hotel. Dinner at the hotel was a bit fancy shmancy but enjoyable. We all passed out at about 9pm.

Wednesday Ben had us booked in for a pirate lunch on a Tall Ship. So we got up, got everyone dressed and had a buffet breakfast at the hotel. Ben and I were giggling as we went in because Alex was complaining that he was hungry and we were pretty sure the hotel was going to make a loss on his meal. Food was good. Went back to room and packed in record time. Caught a taxi to Campbells Cove and waited for our pirates to arrive. The pirate experience was wonderful. The captain has to be ADD. Seriously the man had the attention span of a duck. He was very funny. My theory is that they used to run normal sailing cruises and worked out that if you claim to be pirates the only difference is you get to be rude to the kids. The kids all loved it. He had them all lining up to clean stuff and haul ropes. Highly recommend the experience. Take food if you go, they provide lunch but ran out of some stuff before we got to the table.

Since all that the kids have played with their friends, rested and played with the dog. They went ice skating Friday night. Looking forward to baby sitting Marsha.
Emma is going to spend an evening with her Grandmother Monday night. They are going to do art together. I have to get new tap shoes for Alex while I'm at Miranda and I am taking him to the bike track on Tuesday to play with the other kids.

Bad stuff, discovered that some of Emma's friends have been sending some less than nice notes over Piczo and Ben had to send a note telling them their behaviour was not appropriate. Neighbour tried to run Alex over yesterday. On purpose. Resulted in a bit of a yelling match out the front. Oh well, I guess the good stuff still out weighs the bad stuff. When it comes to idiots nature is bountiful.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying their break.

love Dan xxxx

Another cat name

How about C-for, and people would say Oh yes c for cat, very funny. Then you could say oh yes it could stand for cat I hadn't thought of that. Subtle and amusing.

Not finished yet

Sorry but we have to keep going. Please sing along if you know the words.

Name suggestion: Kevin, you can call it the Ruddy cat.

There once was a cat named frog
Who was no bigger than my bog
It's eyes were closed
So I got hosed
Tempted to feed it to the dog

The cat soon began to feed
And we clapped when it first weed
When it had a full tum
We had to tickle it's bum
Until a little nugget was freed

Soon we heard a knock at the door
The kids had turned up just after four
They said we want back our cat
Sorry about that
I reintroduced them to the door

Donna wanted the cat which was great
But Hubby wanted to wait
Then it was urgent we bring it
And not Jackson wing it
Now it's Jackson number eight

I think we've got that out of our system. You never know we may be tempted to add a few more verses, or feel free to add your own next verse.

Cat name suggestions

To amuse ourselves Ben and I thought we should come up with some name suggestions using Jon's requirement for humour.

For the Star Wars fans: Bacca, when having dinner you can cheer chew Bacca.
Brian, when you get up in the morning to let the cat out you can say release Brian. (Life of Brian).
Mandu, or for formal occasions catMandu.
Orfa, which is what you say when it misbehaves, as in...Orfa ****'s sake you stupid cat.
Two Cities, so that as it walks past you can say there goes the tail of Two Cities.
Rover, Sam did want a dog.
Syndrome, so that if it jumps up on the bench you can say down Syndrome.
Chinese chicken or CC for short
Speed Hump (Ben was getting a little nasty at this point)
Santa, if the kids pester the cat you can say watch out for Santa claws.
My Addiction, so that you can say is someone going to feed My Addiction.
Pat, giving you Pat the cat.
name it after your mother-in-law, nothing says I love you like naming the cat after your Mum-in-law.
Freckle, because Ben thought it was funny and better than Mole (moley, moley, moley)
Economically Unsound Investment, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue but you'd get used to it.
Bed Pan, keeps the bed warm
Doesn't Need Batteries, we all know there's nothing better than a toy that doesn't need batteries.
Price Check, giving you Price Check in the kitchen/bathroom/bedroom.

Sorry about that but we needed to get it out of our system
Dan xxx

Kids

Having a tough week with the kids. Emma has been having disagreements with her friends. They had to go to the talk room, or whatever it is called, at school to work through their problems with a teacher. Emma's teacher was kind enough to come and talk to me about it. She said that Emma had stayed very calm and argued her side well. The teacher was concerned that the two friends had rounded on Emma and were both complaining about things Emma had done and said. Apparently Emma had told one of her friends that she talks too much and had hurt her feelings. While I will admit this is not something a person would want to be told, if they are sitting next to each other in class and one of them is constantly chattering and distracting my child and giving her a headache I think she was within her rights to make a comment. Unfortunately friendship doesn't get easier just because you get older. I explained to her that I have moments too where I need to tell my friends to shut up and that the important thing is to try to do it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings, although generally they will be hurt, you can minimise how much. So Emma has been a little sad and introverted this week because of all this stuff her friends have been carrying on with. I feel sad for her but I know that handling these situations is an important lesson and I can at least let her know that I feel proud of how well she has handled the situation.

Alex on the other hand is currently being bullied by some of the older kids at school. I was going through his room and discovered the bathroom scales under his bed. So we had a chat last night. I asked him why he wanted the scales in his room and he started to get a little sniffy and said that he needed to check his weight after meals to make sure he wasn't getting too fat. I asked him why he thought he was fat (while trying to keep my face blank so he wouldn't see I was feeling murderous towards whoever was putting that idea in his head) and he told me some of the kids at school had been calling him fatty and telling him to loose some weight and other lovely things. Upon questioning I discovered it was some of the older boys at the school and that he doesn't know who they are. We got to the school this morning and he was sobbing, he desperately didn't want to stay and wanted to come home with me. My heart was breaking and I had to push him off to class and explain the problem to his poor teacher who doesn't need this either. Alex loves gym and music, his first two classes for the morning and he was still sobbing that he didn't want to go.

Quite frankly I am not feeling very shiney at the moment. I know all children have their issues and all parents worry about their kids, I'm just feeling a little snowed under by it all at the moment. Hopefully next week will be a better week. If not, the school holidays are coming and I am looking forward to a bit of quiet recovery time.

Dan xxx

apple crumble

Alright I'm in a sharing mood. Here is my recipe for the worlds best apple crumble.

155g butter (melted)
155g castor (sugar)
1 egg
310g SR flour

mix all ingredients in a bowl. Press half the mix into an 8 inch spring form pan. Peel and core 4 green apples. Slice thinly and layer over the base mix. Sprinkle cinnamon and brown sugar over the apple. Rub remaining mix through fingers to create a crumble over the apple. Bake at 180C for about 40 minutes until brown.

Dan xxx

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me. Oooh cookie,cookie,cookie starts with C

cool web site

Ben sent me a link to a website today. It was www.lovefoodhatewaste.com and it had some cool ideas. I liked the section where you could click on the food that you have sitting needing to be eaten and they provide you with recipe ideas. Thought you guys might be interested, they estimate households waste 40% of their food they purchase. I personally would be happy to reduce my grocery bill by not wasting food.

Dan xxx

where to start

It has been a fairly horrible week, and it's only monday. Started the morning with the usual nonsense from the resident nutjob. Got home and discovered my horrible psycho neighbour has painted the Great Wall of Horningsea Park that they illegally built between out properties. They have only painted their side, so my side is still ugly. This was one of those situations where, I have to admit, I wasn't going to be happy with either available option. Either they would come into our yard (and they never ask, they just wander in as if they own the place) and paint the wall, or they would leave it ugly. I guess I feel a little better now that I know what they have chosen, I'm just not looking forward to them having a cow when I put up the gate and it is butt up against their wall.

Then this afternoon a couple of kids turn up at my door and tell me that their mum said they want their kitten back. I pointed out that the kitten was given to me last Thursday and that I had already given it away. They had the audacity to tell me that they didn't know where it was. So let me get this straight.....a one week old kitten that hasn't opened it's eyes and can't walk teleported itself out of the house? If they didn't know where it was how did they know to come and knock on my door and ask for it back? I will never be surprised by the selfishness of people again. Oh did I mention that the rest of the litter didn't make it, so my visit from the kids came just after they found out mine was still alive.

Going to drink a bottle of red wine tonight and hope the world goes away.
Danxxx

work, work, work

Feels like all I do these days is bake and cover cakes. I enjoy standing back and looking at my masterpiece. I love getting paid. I have lovely customers, for which I am grateful, life is so much nicer when I get to deal with nice people. I just find it really stressful getting the cake made. Ben feels I get too close to the job and I need to get my inner perfectionist under control. I know he is right but on the other hand I can't quite come to terms with handing over a dodgy job. Last weeks cake came together beautifully, after many tears and inventing a couple of new swear words. This weeks cake will be beautiful when it is done even if I am going nuts at the moment (hence taking a sanity break and blogging).

Thought for the week

This is courtesy of Terry Pratchett, who was recently demoted to my second favourite author.

...You have to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerabley improved if you gave them a slap. But you didn't because a) it would only make the world a better place for a very short time; b) it would then make the world a slightly worse place; and c) you're not supposed to be as stupid as they are.

So there you go folks, a little wisdom to ponder.

Danxxxx

Lemonade Scones

Decided to try out Donna's scone recipe today. It is dead easy. 3cups SR flour, 1 cup lemonade, 1 cup cream. Knead together. Cut out scones and place on tray lined with baking paper and a little flour. Bake 200C for 15 minutes.

Apparently I am still a little sleepy. Only three ingredients and I still screwed the recipe up. I put in a cup of water instead of cream. Had to add more flour to get the right consistency to the dough but otherwise they turned out just fine. Damn good recipe, you can get a third of it wrong and they still taste good.

Dan xxxx

Dog sick

Had to race the dog over to the vets. The recent desexing has gone pear shaped, the wound has become infected and Jack is running quite a high temperature. Giving anti-biotics to a dog is a damn site easier than giving them to the kids. All you have to do is shove the tablet into something edible. As the dog eats anything this gives us a wide range of things to choose from.

On a nicer note...my dog is so clever. Ben left the back door slightly open and the cat got out. We heard the dog barking and Ben went out to investigate and realised what he had done. We raced out thinking the dog may be chasing the cat but no, she was playing sheep dog and keeping the cat sitting still until we could come and get her. How clever is that?

Dan

Great Recipe

1 rabbit
1 large onion
600ml red wine vinegar
40g flour
salt and pepper
50g butter
4 whole cloves
1 tbspn french mustard
2 bay leaves
1/2 tbspn brown sugar
150ml stock

Peel and chop onion. Put bunny and onion into the vinegar and leave for 12 hours. Remove bunny from vinegar and pat dry. Blend seasoning and flour and coat bunny. Add vinegar, onion, cloves, mustard, bay leaves and sugar into a large pot with the bunny. Cover with stock. Bring bunny to the boil. Reduce heat and allow to simmer for 1 and 1/2 hours.

Damn, that screwed my whole ubuntu.

tired

Children not sleeping well. Again. I admit we have got to a point where I can go for consecutive days where I get to sleep through the night. It sounds like such a little thing but 10 years of sleep deprivation is definately starting to cause chinks in my armour. My sense of humour is starting to fail me and I am absolutely fed up with people assuming I am the strong sensible person who needs to wade into battle every time someone is unhappy. Fix your own damn problems.

I am sure if I can manage to get a couple of nights of decent sleep I will go back to being caring and sensitive but for now consider yourselves warned. The next person that asks me to go and sort out some crappy psycho selfabsorbed sook fest is going to get my boot up their butt.

Finished my books

My beloved Narelle got me hooked on the Twilight series of books. My first point of contact with the stories was seeing an ad at the movies while I was out with Ben. I watched the ad turned to my husband and said "I have to see that". Apparently I was right. I now have a raging addiction to the books, the movie and the soundtrack. Blasted Narelle told me the books were great so I couldn't help myself, I had to read them before I saw the movie because the book is always better. Then in an attempt to ensnare me in her addiction she lent me the soundtrack. Evil woman. Not to be outdone by her I am taking some friends down with me. Sorry about that. You know who you are and frankly I doubt you've put your books down long enough to read my blog so there is no point in naming and shaming you. Don't want to spoil it for those still reading, but the ending was quite good. A little neat but interesting enough to keep you going until the last page. So now I sit and wait until the movie comes out on DVD, hopefully in time for Mothers Day.

Happy reading
Dan xxx

4 chords is all it takes

Love this - hope you do too:

The history of pop music using only 4 chords

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s13sASS5F4

Ponderings

Had a couple of funny moments I needed to share.

The first was at the meet the teachers night at the school. My daughters teacher announced that the school has a no nuts policy and that parents are not allowed to send nuts to school. Unfortunately I was sitting next to my friend Donna (who has children that are just as wierd as mine). When I looked at her she has mentioned that she will have to write a lot of absentee notes if she can't send her nuts to school. It is great to have a friend that thinks on the same wavelength as I do but sometimes it just gets us into trouble. I'm pretty sure the teachers knew what I was giggling about.

My next moment was this morning. I yelled up the stairs to the kids that they needed to hurry because we had to leave in 10 minutes and I heard Alex yell to his sister "Come on Emma, lets do this". No more television for that child.

This is what Ben does when he is bored. He waits for the cat to be sitting on the toilet and then tries to sneak up and push her in. Deary, deary me.

doggie paddle?

This picture was taken mid-January. Jack really loves getting on the boogie board and having a surf around the pool. She has grown a bit since the photo was taken so we are thinking we may have to get her a bigger boogie board. When she is not surfing on her board she enjoys racing Emma. The two of them get together at one end of the pool and Emma says "go" and Jack runs around the outside of the pool and Emma swims a lap. It is very cute to watch.

Dan xxx

Ubuntu

Just read a really interesting book titled "Imagine - the words and inspiration of John Lennon". The book was quite good, full of information about the different stages of Lennon's life that inspired him to write the songs that he wrote, both individually and with others. Very strong on the message that he believed the only way to bring about world peace was peacefully, with humour and love.
Oddly enough the part of the book I found most inspiring was the intro by the Most Reverend Desmond Tutu. He talked about his peoples highest praise "Yu, u nobunto". This means they possess the quality of unbunto. "What is this ubunto?" I hear you ask. It refers to how a person treats others and how they see themselves. The theory is "if I diminish you, I diminish myself". So it steps away from the old idea of doing good deeds is enough and believes that if you see another human as less than yourself that this actually takes away from your own humanity. "I am what I am because of who we all are" is also part of the philosophy, working under that theory in order to improve society and my community the best place to start is with myself.
So my task for the week is to go forward and try to incorporate a little of this wisdom into my life. Not being a natural people person a fairly large challenge but worth the effort.
Dan xxx

Puppy Ponderings

We are attempting to train the puppy so that it is slightly more user friendly. It is currently a little nippy and very naughty. Ben has taken an interest in the job and spoke to a friend who gave him some hot tips on how to get the dog to be a model citizen. He came home full of enthusiasm and sat us all down and discussed what it was we wanted from the dog. The three "S"s sounded good to me: "sit", "stay" and "stop being a pillock". My list is pretty close to what we are going with. He next told us that we were all going to have to work on these things with the dog if we wanted to have a well behaved dog. Unfortunately I could see the problem right there. My youngest child has still not mastered these behaviours, so how pray was he going to teach them to the dog. Emma has been very good at attempting what we have told her. She works on sit with the dog and rewarding Jack for good behaviour and ignoring her when she is not being good. The two of them get on really well. I often look out into the backyard and they will be sitting together, the dog on it's back, while Emma is singing to it. I'm not sure if the dog sees the singing as a reward or punishment but they seem to be getting along just fine. Alex on the other hand brings out the worst in the dog. He loves romping and rolling and getting the dog all worked up to the point where it is biting everything, including the walls, air, furniture and itself. One of Alex's friends from the street is autistic and so she just screams and flails whenever the dog is sighted, which just confuses poor Jack who thinks she is playing a fabulous new game. I should be greatful the dog is not a parot because not only is the girl screaming like a banshee and flailing around but she swears like a trooper. Wouldn't that be great? A badly behaved pet that swore at your visitors. People already think we are a bit odd. Imagine someone coming to visit to pick up a cake they have ordered and a parot screaming "f**king a**holes, polly wants a f**king cracker you c**t". Yes the neighbours child gets sent home immediately when she uses those words but you can't erase the words out of the minds of those that have heard them. Survival instinct is a wonderful thing. My kids see my lips resemble a letter box and know without asking never, ever to use those words.

I realise I may have digressed there. The dog is becoming much better behaved. It no longer bowls people over in an attempt to get inside. It doesn't lauch itself at the food bowl anymore. I am receiving less holes in my trousers and skin. It still poos more than should be possible for the amount of food we put in but you can't have everything. I've always wondered about that statement "you can't have everything". Why not? Does this apply to everyone, or just me? Has anyone ever turned to James Packer and said"Sorry mate, you can't have everything"

Things I have learnt this year

I know that it has only just begun but I feel I have already learnt some important lessons this year that need to be shared.

1. If you lock a frightened animal in the laundry while the fire works are going off you can be certain it will do the worlds largest poo just behind the door, so that when you open the door it will skim a poo rainbow across the floor. If you are not fast enough the dog will run straight through the poo and walk it all through the carpet.
2. Ice melts. If you leave a bag of ice in the esky overnight be certain there are no holes or cracks in the esky or you will have a puddle on your living room floor in the morning. The dog with the poo feet will walk through it. No it doesn't clean the feet, it just makes the poo go further.
3. When you are in a hurry changing the cat litter the bag you are tipping it into will have a great big hole in the bottom so that it all falls on the floor.
4. Rushing to get all the beer into the newly organised and iced esky will result in the dropping of a bottle, which will smash on the brick work where all the children will be walking with bare feet. Cleaning it up to ensure the safety of little feet takes a long time.
5. Dropping a cat on the dogs head results in the need for a lot of band-aids. (Alex discovered this one)
6. Angry cats like to get even by pooing on the bath mat. See point 5.
7. Dogs can balance on a boogie board, although they don't necessarily look happy while doing it.
8. If you flip a dog over you don't always get its gender correct. The girls also have bits sticking out in the nether regions.
9. If you try to make the name Jack female adding "ette" while being amusing for the first day stops being funny and is just pathetic after a while.
10. Once you have a puppy outside and cats in the house you can kiss goodbye the notion of ever having clean windows again.
11. Dogs can dirty up every square inch of reachable glass within half an hour.

That's all I can remember at the moment. Will let you know if I remember any more important lessons.

Dan xxx

stupid, stupid cat

It is one thing to sit and taunt the dog because you are inside and it is outside. I would put it to you that sitting on the dog food shelf amongst the dog food is just downright stupid.