Things I have learnt this year

I know that it has only just begun but I feel I have already learnt some important lessons this year that need to be shared.

1. If you lock a frightened animal in the laundry while the fire works are going off you can be certain it will do the worlds largest poo just behind the door, so that when you open the door it will skim a poo rainbow across the floor. If you are not fast enough the dog will run straight through the poo and walk it all through the carpet.
2. Ice melts. If you leave a bag of ice in the esky overnight be certain there are no holes or cracks in the esky or you will have a puddle on your living room floor in the morning. The dog with the poo feet will walk through it. No it doesn't clean the feet, it just makes the poo go further.
3. When you are in a hurry changing the cat litter the bag you are tipping it into will have a great big hole in the bottom so that it all falls on the floor.
4. Rushing to get all the beer into the newly organised and iced esky will result in the dropping of a bottle, which will smash on the brick work where all the children will be walking with bare feet. Cleaning it up to ensure the safety of little feet takes a long time.
5. Dropping a cat on the dogs head results in the need for a lot of band-aids. (Alex discovered this one)
6. Angry cats like to get even by pooing on the bath mat. See point 5.
7. Dogs can balance on a boogie board, although they don't necessarily look happy while doing it.
8. If you flip a dog over you don't always get its gender correct. The girls also have bits sticking out in the nether regions.
9. If you try to make the name Jack female adding "ette" while being amusing for the first day stops being funny and is just pathetic after a while.
10. Once you have a puppy outside and cats in the house you can kiss goodbye the notion of ever having clean windows again.
11. Dogs can dirty up every square inch of reachable glass within half an hour.

That's all I can remember at the moment. Will let you know if I remember any more important lessons.

Dan xxx