Hokey Pokey

Now that we have a dog outside and cats inside my family are getting to be very skilled at the hokey pokey. You kick your leg one way to stop the cats then kick it out the door to stop the dog. The neighbours must be finding it all very entertaining. Apparently the dual direction attack while walking out the back doors has made me a bit lazy when going out the front door. I went out the front door today to take out some bottles to the recycling bin. Angel was running decoy sitting to the left of the door. As I opened the door and swung a leg to keep her in Zeuss gets down low and charges out the door. Special Ops could take lessons from my animals. He avoids early interception (picture me dropping armfuls of recycling while trying to run and stoop to catch a fast, thin, slippery cat) and runs through the lavender bush and straight under my car. Jewel used to go straight under the car also, although fortunately she was stupid enough to be tricked everytime by me rubbing my fingers together and saying "biscuits". Zeuss just sat in the dead centre of under the car and sniggered at me. I ran around the car trying to scare him out one side but he just sat there looking at me. I did try pleading, I tried threatening, I tried coaxing. None of these worked so I thought it was time to use a big stick. I found a piece of dowling that Ben had been using to mark where he should stop when parking on the drive way and pushed it under the car. Not quite long enough. I had to lie down on my stomach to get it to go far enough in to make contact with the cat. At this point I am reasonably cerain my neighbours were all standing watching "the mad lady across the road". I poke the stick in at the cat and he takes a step sideways. I try sweeping the stick across the ground and he just jumps over it, possibly sniggering. Feeling less than friendly at this point I am ashamed to say I decided to sweep the stick under the car at head height. That cat has the most amazing talent for flattening himself. Still no success. Tempted to get the dog and throw him under the car to get the cat out. Ran through the possible endings and decided against it. While sitting wondering what to do next the cat runs out from under the car and heads straight towards the crazy cat killing neighbours house. Ohshitohshitohshit. Good news, he decides to go left and jump the side fence. Bad news, dog is in backyard and cat doesn't like dog. Set new Olympic speed record while bolting back to the front door (quick shuffle to keep second cat in house) through house to back yard, grab dog and chuck him inside the house so that he can't scare cat over any side fences (second cat will just have to deal with him and serves her right for running decoy in the first place), stealth mode down side passage so as not to startle cat. It is very hard to stealth mode while trying to get a visual on your target and not stand on any land mines. Cat is slinking towards back door. Managed to get behing the target and grab him. Cat suddenly turns into an octopus. I am now standing at the back door trying to get in while the dog is jumping up and down trying to great me and cat two is working on getting out. If I open the door too far cat two gets out. If I don't open it enough I can't get my octopus back in the house. After much antiseptic and bandaging I have the situation under control.

Yet another great weekend

Our new puppy Captain Jack is a lovely little fellow. The kids have been having fun with him and I have enjoyed taking him for a walk of an evening. The kids take him for walks too, although generally when they walk him up and down the street the lazy little puppy just sits and looks at them until one of them picks him up and carries him up and down the street.

Took the kids to the Mounties Christmas party this morning. It was fabulous. They both got to go on all the rides (Emma is finally tall enough) and they got their show bags and fairy floss and an ice-cream. All the people running it were really friendly and helpful. Not bad considering it was free. Okay so I had to be a member, but membership was something like $5. When I think about the last time Mum and I took the kids to the Easter Show, the hassle of getting in there, the crowds, the long day and the cost (at least $400 as far as we would admit, there may have been more) Mounties starts to look like a bit of a bargain.

I have started thinking about things I want to do with the kids these holidays as well. I want them to have fun, I also want to be able to keep it cheap. Mounties has free kids Bingo on Mondays starting at 11am, so that may happen one of the weeks. Still have to suss out what the Catholic club may be offering. I know both clubs have child care on premises that is reasonably cheap. If I have had enough I may just go up to the Catholic Club chuck the kids in child care for 2 hours and sit in a quiet spot with a book to regain my sanity. Less than $10 for club care or over $30 for entry to Tic Tocs or Lollipops. Hmmm hard decision. Other than that I am hoping for lots of free playing at home or visiting of Grandparents. If anyone has any suggestions for budget conscious amusement I am open to ideas.

We just got TiVo. We had a whole heap of Frequent Flyer Points and Qantas is trying to encourage people to spend them so when the TiVo offer came up Ben jumped at it. He is having a lot of fun picking programmes for it to record. It seems pretty cool, not cool enough for me to have gone out and bought one, but if we had to spend the points or loose them it was a good choice.

I hope you are all under control in your warm up to Christmas and I wish you all a merry, jolly, happy and mould free Christmas day.

Love Dan xxxx

action-packed weekend

It was supposed to be a quiet weekend. Ben went to a work Christmas party on Friday night, so rather than spring for the taxi fare we worked out it would be cheaper for him to stay in town. I had a nice quiet evening, drank a little wine, ate a little food. Helene popped around in the morning to pick up the cake I had baked for Thomas. Alex was due for a haircut at 11:30 and fortunately Ben was home in time to mind Emma. Picked up a BBQ chook for lunch and got back home expecting that to be the highlight of the weekend.
While sitting eating lunch I noticed something trying to climb out of the pool. It looked a bit fat to be a lizard, but maybe it was a pregnant lizard so I had better go save it. When I got out there and looked it turned out to be a frog. While I am more than happy to fish lizards out of the pool I don't like the idea of grabbing a frog, so I ran back to the house to find a bucket to fish him out of the pool. Out all four of us go with the bucket and Alex is saying "cool we get to have a pet frog". We have one of those shell shaped wading pools and it was full of water because of the rain from the night before. Ben decided to tip him in there so he could have a bit of a rest before he went home. I call it a him but having no idea how to check the sex of a frog it may have been a her. Anyway we put a couple of bricks and bits of broken pot in to give him places to sit and rest and added a bit of shade. Alex wanted to try and catch him some flies. We had a wonderful afternoon watching the frog swimming around and sunning himself and generally being a frog. I love cheap entertainment.
When we got up in the morning the frog had hopped off home, which is all for the best and the kids were happy they got to spend time with him and save him.

While getting up and finding the frog gone was a happy thing we discovered that our backyard had now acquired a dog. He is the cutest little puppy and the kids have already fallen in love with him. Rang around and no one had reported a lost puppy, put up posters and haven't heard from anyone. He is a white puppy with a black patch over his eye, so we named him Captain Jack. Then we made him a temporary kennel out of a cardboard box and the kids spent the afternoon drawing lovely pictures on it for him. He has enjoyed a lovely bowl of chicken for dinner and has spent the day being bathed, groomed and patted to within an inch of his life. I keep hoping someone will come and claim him so I don't have to take him to an animal shelter tomorrow. Ben is pretending to be very stern and has been telling me we can't keep him but the puppy is so cute I'm hoping he doesn't mean it.

My quiet, uneventful weekend ended up being full of a lot more stuff than I originally expected but they were all fabulous moments with the family so I'm really happy it all turned out the way it did.

More stupid cat stories

Yes these two pictures are of the same cat. Apparently cats don't enjoy falling into a bathtub full of water. Who would have guessed? We have decided to rename her "You Stupid Cat". This certainly saves time when talking to her and is the phrase she hears most often.

The second photo is of her asleep on a pile of tissues. I didn't know that cats like nests but this one seems to want one. Alex was having a moment and emptied an entire box of tissues while playing with her. Ben wasn't happy with either of them but I wasn't too concerned because we are always using tissues for something or another. So I piled them up and popped them on the table, the cat got up on the table and slept in them. Not to be encouraged, so I moved the tissues off the table, put the cat on the floor and went off to do something. As you can see, when I came back the cat was again on the tissues. Put cat on floor. Turn my back on her and she pulls the pile of tissues off the chair and onto the floor and is again asleep in them. This went on for a couple of weeks until I used them all up cleaning up spills.

Looking forward to the opportunity to express my delight in the kittens behaviour over the next couple of weeks as we are preparing to put up the Christmas tree. Just getting the boxes out has made her feral, I hate to think what she is going to do with the tree. If I serve kebabs over Christmas you may not want to ask what type of meat I used.

Dan xxxx

Friends

One of my friends has been incredibly naughty and given me a present that was very lovely but not necessary. I was going to put it under the Christmas tree and wait but Alex couldn't cope with the idea so he opened it. Out came a beautiful box of chocolates and Alex looked and said "isn't that a great present, you have a lovely friend Mummy". "Yes I have a lot of lovely friends Alex" was my response. Christmas may be full of frantic shopping, baking and being driven nuts by needing to be in six places at once, but I thought that little moment summarised what Christmas should be. I stood there knowing that I have a lot of lovely friends and I am very grateful for their friendship, humour and the occasional shoulder, also that while I never expected a gift so generous it reminded me to be grateful that my friends appreciate me for who I am, which is a bloody hard task some days I'm sure. So while it was lovely to receive a gift I wanted to let you all know that I appreciate you all and hope your Christmas brings you as much love and joy as I get from knowing the wonderful people that I get to call my friends.

Great Husband

My husband is great some days. Actually I think he's pretty great everyday, but some days he manages to be pretty damn great. He knew I was feeling a little under pressure with the work load I have given myself lately. On top of that I have been given some unreasonable pressure from outside sources. I got some news today from a friend that was a very helpful heads-up, but frankly has sent me over the edge. I rang Ben and confessed my need to drink and cry until I pass out. He has heaps of horrible stuff on at work and he let me get it off my chest and then rang me back later and offered me butter chicken. What more can you possibly ask from a fella?

another Alex moment

Ben and I have been playing a game on Facebook. It is one of those word games where they give you 6 letters and you have to see how many words of 3 or more letters you can make. The kids have started sitting next to us while we are playing and trying to help find the words. Emma is getting quite good at it. Alex sits next to me and makes the sounds to see if he can find a word. I can't remember what all 6 letters were at the time but last night Alex was sitting next to me doing his usual sounding out while Emma was calling out suggestions. All of a sudden Alex catches my attention he is sounding "s", then he tries "sl", we add an"u", and finish by sounding a "t". Then he puts the sounds together and yells out "slut, slut Mummy, try slut". We aren't sure if Emma has come across the word before or if it was the look on Ben's face but she quickly dashes out to the kitchen, placing herself far enough away to be out of trouble but close enough to hear what happens. I'm trying to keep a very blank face. I look at Alex and ask him to put the word in a sentence. His response was "I don't know, how about I just got slut in the head?" I can only hope he was thinking of the word slapped.

threats backfire

Ben and I felt that with Christmas looming it was time to work in a few good threats. Santa doesn't bring presents to naughty children, blah, blah, blah. I told Alex about the naughty boy who continued to be naughty even after his parents had warned him, so the boy ended up getting a lump of coal. We then had to explain what coal was and Alex thought it sounded like a cool present. The problem with threatening a child with a dud Christmas present is that you have to be sure they wouldn't like it. Alex would probably take his lump of coal and draw all over the walls and floor and then take it to bed with him to keep it safe (getting it all over the sheets and his pyjama's). Then I would be cleaning coal dust out of the shower. If he found out it becomes diamonds he would probably be found jumping on his lump of coal. Eventually he would loose it down the side of the lounge and his stupid cat would eat it. I don't want to even think about what happens to coal when subjected to the digestion processes of a cat.

lovely weekend

We have had a nice weekend. I admit that I hate Halloween, so that didn't start me off well. There is something about being blackmailed into handing over chocolate that really puts me off side. Can't imagine why. If I thought the little buggers had any idea what halloween was truely about I may be more inclined to be gracious about the whole thing, but in Australia at least it is just one big commercial opportunity for Cadbury to make some money, and possibly dentists.

Saturday morning Emma had to go to a party for one of her friends and it was lovely to sit and chat to the other Mums to the dulcit tones of children screaming in the background. Aah listening to the little lovelies playing brings back images of studying "Lord of the Flies". If you contemplate the biblical reference to needing to be like children in order to get through the gates of heaven I can only assume they must have had different children.

I got back with Emma and found Ben measuring up our backyard and marking out where we needed to move the washing line to in order to put in the trampoline. We spent the afternoon digging out a hole. This doesn't sound like a horrible ordeal. Unfortunately we are situated on top of what they assure me is clay but I feel may be some new form of orange diamond. It was that hard to break through that it is possible we have found something even harder than diamond. Still we got there in the end, my washing line is in it's new position and if I have a couple of glasses of wine before I hang out the washing I hardly notice that it is leaning at all.

The kids helped me make lasagne tonight. It was lots of fun. They love putting the dough through the pasta machine and making layers with the meat, cheese and pasta. A beautiful way to end the weekend.

I will leave you with yet another amusing moment from Alex....... he was telling me that they are reading "The Twits" by Roald Dahl at school and said " I miss the old days when Miss Vicente used to read to us". Last term was such a long time ago apparently.

Have a great week xxxxx

one of those weekends

We had one of those weekends. It started Friday. I turned up to the school at 12:15 to do art with Alex's class and they had just started sport. It wasn't as though I really had the time to do art but I had made the time to get out there for his class, so I was mighty miffed when it turned out they were doing something else and I had wasted my time. Not wanting my time to be completely wasted I informed his teacher that I would go and do some work in the library and to send a child in to get me if they needed me. While working in the library my phone rings which sends the battery flat. Great. I sat there putting stickers on the books hoping the call wasn't important but feeling safe in the knowledge that I had signed in at the office so it wouldn't be about the kids. WRONG. Half an hour later Alex's teacher comes running in to the library to let me know that they had just discovered Alex was missing from the classroom and was down in sick bay. He had taken sick at the end of second luch and another kind teacher had escorted him down to the office. Am I the only person that finds it a tad disconcerting that it took 1/2 an hour to discover that Alex hadn't returned from lunch?

The next debarcle was going out to the movies with my friends. Everything was organised. I was really looking forward to going out with a great group of girls. My usual paranoia surfaces and I think "I'll just check the movie times". I had already checked 4 times that week but a fifth couldn't hurt. Aaaargh. The movie time had changed. It was now earlier than I had expected which mucked up our dinner plans. Fortunately everyone was understanding and we still managed to have an excellent night, even if we had to see a different movie.

Saturday morning I had to take Alex to get his hair cut because he had hacked at his head with a pair of scissors. Not impressed. Dani did a good cover up job. While there I noticed that she has a sign up wanting to sell her trampoline. Spent the rest of the weekend working out how to get the trampoline into our backyard. Technically we have enough space. It just isn't all together. So if we move the washing line, butcher a tree, dig a ditch and flatten a twelve foot square of lawn we should be able to fit it in. Ben is not amused.

We then proceeded to have a long serious of minor upsets which peaked with Ben's work going pear shaped and taking up most of his Sunday afternoon. We went to bed exhausted but happy we had got through everything. Lying in bed dozing off and my cat Zuess jumps up and walks up the bed between us. He starts making this horrible coffing noise which can only mean that he ate his dinner too fast and is about to bring it back. Ben and I are urgently saying "no Zuess, no" as he walks up the bed making horrible noises. Ben puts his hand out to grab the cat before he makes it to the pillows and the cat stops walking and pukes in his hand. Goodnight.

These were some lovely shots from our picnic at the park. Emma was using the bubble sword and bubbles were blowing everywhere. Alex enjoyed popping them. Suddenly there was a swarm of children chasing bubbles, it was worse than the pigeons forming groups to plan stealing the bread rolls. I liked the other photo of Al and Ben sitting together, Alex is becoming such a little man.

This is what Ben does with his spare time. He plays with Alex's toys and sets them up to take amusing photos. He calls this photo "the dark side of pet ownership". Apparently the sith lord did not appreciate puppy biting the hand that fed him. An important lesson in life....don't bite men with a light saber.

We went to an indoor rock climbing centre today. The kids had a great time, although it did wear them out very quickly. Emma only lasted about 1/2 an hour before her fingers became too sore to go on. Alex went hard for an hour and had worked up a sweat by the time he was ready to stop. It was a great way to spend some time together. Would love to try it myself some time, the only problem is that you need to have someone else there to hold the rope. Not sure that I trust enough people in my life to hold my rope. Too many people I like to spend time with have way too wicked a sense of humour to be trusted.

Family outing

Ben is off work this week, so we are doing stuff together as a family. Today we went to Yum Cha for lunch over at Blakehurst. Emma was very brave and tried 8 out of the 9 dishes we had. We finally beat her with the pork balls, I don't think that she was particularly disliking the look of them but possibly just too full. She had been keeping up rather well until that point. Alex on the other hand was a little fussier and stuck with the spring rolls and dim sims and a couple of prawn thingees. We ended up having to ask for more spring rolls because he was still hungry. Fortunately the waitress that brought them over was a lovely person and was giggling at him bouncing with excitement on his seat, at the prospect of more spring rolls. I would have thought he would be over them by now, having lived on spring rolls and fried rice while in Thailand, but no apparently there is no such thing as too many spring rolls. Waiting for the spring rolls fortunately gave Emma a bit of a breather so she finished off with a couple of the egg tarts. Thats my girl. Helene my love we have some competition, Emma loved the BBQ pork buns, ate the prawn and garlic dumplings, devoured the prawn won tons and hoovered down the sweet pork buns. She definately would have given us a run for our money.

After eating a delightful array of tasty morsels we went across the road to Carrs Bush Reserve. Such a lovely little spot. It has a tiny (possibly man made) beach. The water is pretty flat but does have a net. One ponders what they thought the net was going to keep out, it didn't look up to keeping out anything more dangerous than the odd lost goldfish but the thought was there. A nice big park with a lovely little walking path. It also had BBQ facilities. Surprisingly empty with plenty of parking, although it is mid week and October so possibly it gets much busier during Summer. The kids had a splash around in the water. Emma was in one of those loose fitting hippie looking tops wading through the water talking to nature. If ever there was a child that should have been named "Galadriel Moonchild" there she stood. Blissfully unaware of those around her she communed with nature while Alex was on the beach head down, butt up digging like a dog. Suddenly Emma calls Alex to the water to see the fish she had found swimming around. He responds "cool" and tries to club one to death with a stick. Okay maybe that was exaggerating a little, he threw a stick in the water to see how fast they would swim away but it originally looked like that when we were watching. I stand by my origingal wish to name him "Thor".

Alex just came running into the room to tell me "trust pink, forget stains" and ran back out. Not sure what he has in mind for the rest of the week but apparently he feels I may have trouble getting it out of the wash.

Hope everyone else is getting as much joy from their school holidays. Will let you know how rock climbing goes tomorrow.

Dan xxxx

I now officially feel like I am on school holidays. Emma fell asleep on the lounge at 4:30 and is running a temperature. You aren't having a proper school holiday unless the grey clouds come pouring in and one of the children is sick. Of course I should be grateful I'm not a Jackson or that statement would have to be upgraded to a trip to the hospital. Otherwise the children have been very lovely and I shouldn't complain. We did an action packed trip to the fruit and veg store today. Normal people would feel sorry for the kids having to drag them around the fruit market. Not my family. Emma got to read the list and check I hadn't missed anything and Alex got to push the trolley and put as much fruit as he wanted in bags and then in the trolley. He did a marvellous job and we managed to set a new record for fruit and veg expense. $75 for fruit and veg and I know it will only last for 1 week with the kids home. The upside is that I know it will all be eaten and that it is good for them. Considering how cheap the local produce is (eg 39 cents for spinach and 99cents for asparagus) it was a damn fine effort to get to $75.

Angel

For those of you following the adventures of my kitten here is yet another photo of her in a stupid place. Any time I go to the fridge I have to check before I close the door to make sure she is not in there munching on the veges. On the right is a photo of her sitting on the exhaust above the stove. I was worried that she would fall off while I was cooking so Ben put the black non slip mat up there for her. She enjoys watching me cook and has the occasional affectionate swipe at my head just to let me know she loves me.

Ben has just been informed that the best position to sleep in, for spine care, is on your side. Not sure what he would make of Emma's sleeping position. Good to see that the Tucker Temperature Tester is working. For non family members, down Ben's Mum's line of the family are Tuckers and they are notorious for needing to have one foot out of the covers at all times. I am told that it is so that they know what the temperature is like outside the bed so that they are comfortable with the temperature in the bed. No, it doesn't make sense to me either. I do know that if in a moment of kindness I try to tuck Ben or Emma's feet back in they chuck a hissy and kick all the covers off.

little mistakes

The word has got around. When one of the year 4 teachers was running a lesson on debating skills she chose the topic of "should big brother be banned". Now as far as controversial and thought provoking topics go this should enable a great debate amongst adults. The problem I suspect started when she had to show a part of the program content so that the kids knew something about the program. Apparently I'm not the only person that thinks it is highly inappropriate for children or anyone wishing to retain their brain. The piece of programme was supposed to have been edited for the age group. Unfortunately the term "turkey slap" got through. When I told my husband this he laughed and said that if Emma asks me what it means I should tell her it's a new lunch meat, as in you go to the deli and ask for "200g of turkey slap". He then proceeded to run the whole gammit of jokes available to this topic. That was a bit of a cock up. She must feel a bit of a dick. That was a hard mistake. I'm sure you get the picture and I don't need to give you anymore. Bless the school they always provide so much material for mirth

Memories

My beloved Narelle, knowing that I get into trouble if I am not kept busy, has given me a quest. To leave but one fond memory on her blog spot. Having achieved step one I am now challenged to invite all who know me to present me with a memory. There are rules, as with any worthy challenge:

1. Play nice or I will get even.
2. It must be a memory involving both of us, if you aren't equally guilty it doesn't count.
3. Set up a section for others to share their memories in your blog
4. If you share a memory in my comments section I will assume you want to play and will happily return the favour (hence the importance of rule 1).

Looking forward to seeing what comes my way.

Dan

I swear this cat has a death wish. I had only just rescued her from the washing machine and she jumps in the dishwasher.

I had filled the washing machine with clothes and pressed start. All the water started to pour into the machine. Angel was standing on the front edge of the machine and decided to jump in to play in the water. Fat little cats sink straight to the bottom when they are all small kids clothes. There was this little panicking face sinking into the clothing, I managed to get hold of her before she hit the bottom and without being clawed to death. At least I was only packing the dishwasher and there was no water happening.

Nice moments

I have had a lovely afternoon cooking with Emma. I made the bolognaise sauce while the kids were at school. When Emma had finished her homework we started making a lasagne. It was great fun. She rolled the pasta dough through the pasta machine and we layered the sauce, pasta and cheese. There was a little bit of dough and sauce left over so I showed Emma how to put the sheet through the extra roller to make fettucine. Emma loved taking the long strands out of the machine and dropping them in the boiling water. She felt very proud that she was allowed to work with the pot of water because that was a first for her. Then I showed her how to test the pasta was cooked and she took the whole process very seriously. We put the sauce over the freshly cooked pasta and Emma proclaimed that it was good. The fettucine was put aside for her lunch tomorrow. She is very excited about the idea of going to school with pasta she made for lunch. Her two closest friends both love pasta and I think she is looking forward to a bit of a brag. Ben, Emma and I had lasagne for dinner and it was very tasty. She had a nice big helping, which is great because it was full of vegetables I had cunningly hidden in the sauce. Alex rejected it outright and opted for leftovers. Maybe I'll get him next time.

Another Alex moment

Alex asked "Mum is milk good for me?" and I replied "yes dear, it helps your bones grow big and strong". There is a brief moment of quiet thought and Alex says "Do I grow too?", response "yes Alex", "That's good, I wouldn't want my bones to wreck my body."

It is very hard at moments like this to not say all the rude responses I would like to come back with. Positive parenting really sucks some days.

Alex came home from school this afternoon and walked into my work area, which is attached to the kitchen. He took a look at the cake and said "wow that looks so cool, how did you do that?". I love a bit of unsolicited praise. The kids are so used to my cakes that to get a big response from one of them is really nice.

nightmares

Our household is quite used to the problem of nightmares. Emma has at least one most nights. She has them about everything from falling off cliffs to shoes chasing her. Alex had a nightmare last night and while it was obviously very upsetting for him it was very hard to keep a straight face when I worked out what was the problem. He had a nightmare that they weren't going to do maths at school any more. Yep that was the whole nightmare.....no more maths. On a gut wrenching scale I wouldn't have thought this would rate very high for most children, but he was in tears at the prospect of no more maths. I had to speak to his teacher this morning and have her reassure him that they would be doing maths every day and there were no plans to avoid it. As a parent you expect to be dealing with little hurdles through their lives, but if any one had asked me what I thought I would be dealing with as my children were growing up the fear of a lack of maths would probably not have been on my list.

Hope this makes everyone elses world look a little more normal.

Dan

Alex, bless him

Alex, for reasons only known to himself, feels the need to make a running commentary while going to the loo. He also, unfortunately, feels no need to close the door. So while I was doing some work on the computer I can hear him mumbling away whilst getting the job done. All of a sudden in a nice big voice he says " Aaah that was a nice long fluff". He sounded so pleased, it was obviously a job well done.

Just remembered

Yes alright I have had a drink or two this evening. I originally logged in to write about the fabulous wine I am drinking, then having had too much of the wine I am currently drinking forgot that I wanted to write about the wine and thus wrote some slightly inane stuff about my cat. Whilst writtng positively insane musings to Ben's cousin on facebook I remembered that my glass was empty which brought me back to my thoughts on the marvellous wine I am drinking.

The marvellous wine that I have found has many fine points. The first of which is that it has a screw cap. Yes I know there are purists out there who feel that a bottle of wine has been sullied if stoppered by anything other than cork. I say a cork is all well and good when you are opening the first bottle but quite frankly by the time I hit the botttom of the bottle I am in no fit state to be opening a second with a cork screw, and I am damn near dangerous by the time I am opening the third.

Next is the fact that the magnificent wine I am drinking this evening is a cleanskin from Dan Murphy's. Some la-di-da people say that they like paying extra to know who there wine is from. I say, where's your sense of adventure? Where is the fun of knowing what to expect from your wine. Surprise is a wonderful thing in a bottle of wine. Knowing nothing more than the fact that my wine is a shiraz from the Victorian regions I venture forth hoping for something light on the palette and high in the alcohol content.

Another magnificent point about this wine is the little warning, that now seems compulsory on all consumables. These little warnings pop up as a sign of societies madness. Packets of peanuts these days contain the little warning panels stating that there may be traces of nuts. Lord I hope so. Any way the warning on my bottle of wine states that it has been....Produced with the aid of egg and milk products and traces may remain. The mind boggles. At least now I may claim that while I am getting into my drink I am also having a meal. Protein and dairy with a bit of fruit, that's a balanced meal.

Last but certainly not least is the fact that my bottle of wine cost me $2.oo. Yes that is correct, no typing error, it cost $24 for a case of this wine. It may be more of a pink than a red, have no nose and is a 2008, who cares? It cost two dollars a bottle. So for all my beloved friends feeling the need of a drink, look no further than the magnificent Shiraz cleanskin at Dan Murphy's. After the seventh glass you won't know what it tastes like anyway. Quaff on. xxxxx

cat stories

Yes it's another cat story. Angel ( the new and mildly deranged kitten) has an interest in water. She gets most upset if she doesn't get to watch the toilet being flushed. She loves teeth cleaning time. Worst of all she insists upon having a shower with me. She likes to walk around in the shower while I'm in there. The problem is she doesn't like it if I close the shower door behind her. I on the other hand dislike being clawed to death so I tend to leave the shower door open for her. Yesterday I was showering and it was fairly cold so I closed the shower door and left her out of my shower. Angel sat on the other side of the glass door and screamed at me. When I wouldn't let her in she felt she needed to express her anger in more urgent tones, so she started throwing herself at the glass door. I have never seen anything quite as funny as this kitten throwing itself at head height at the door. No run up. One minute on the floor, next thing I see the cats belly slamming against the glass all four legs out. Wham. Over and over. I finish my shower but the cat is still having a sulk. I get dressed and as I'm walking down the hallway she is a couple of feet ahead of me, throwing herself at the wall every couple of feet. That'll teach that wall a lesson. She was probably still holding a grudge against it because it wouldn't do anything for her while she was on heat.
Tonight I decided it was time for a nice roast pork. Yummy. I put the pork in the baking tray, Angel mistook the baking tray for her dinner bowl. I had to prepare the roast with her under one arm. I tried putting her down on the floor but the boomerang cat was back up trying to get a lick of the roast faster than I could stand back up. I was pulling her off the bench, little paws flailing, tongue out, desperately trying to get the roast. So I conceded defeat and held her under one arm while I patted the skin dry with some paper towel, rubbed in some oil and sprinkled a little salt. None of this was made easier by the little thing squirming under my arm. Now I needed two hands to get the baking tray into the oven, so I popped her down and quickly picked up the tray and turned to get it into the oven. I turn back and Angel has found the paper towel I was patting the pork dry with and is running around the kitchen with it on her head. Just stop and get the picture in your mind. Yep you have to laugh or you would need to shoot it.

amuzing moment

My son was watching the cat being an absolute pshyco. He turns to me and says "wow mum the cats even naughtier than me and thats pretty hard to do." A moment of guilt passed until I realised that he was actually proud of them both.

For those of you that haven't heard about another moment while we were out shopping. The family were out at Big W and we were all standing fairly close together in an aisle looking at phone stuff. Suddenly there is a horrendous smell and we all look at Alex who is whistling with a guilty look on his face. Ben says very sternly that his actions were very unfriendly and you shouldn't just drop one when other people are around. Alex thinks about this very seriously and wanders off to the other end of the aisle, turns and shouts back "Hey Dad can you still smell my farts from here?". Bless him

We walk into a lighting store and Alex's eyes light up with the possibilities for mischief. Ben looks at him and says "Alex there are a lot of breakable items in this store, I want you to take this as a warning, not a challenge".

Hope this amused everyone

Emma's birthday

These are some of my favourite photos from the day. The kids had a wonderful time. Emma and Alex had smiles all over their little faces. After doing a one hour trail ride we went back to the cafe to have lunch and sing Happy Birthday. The group shot was really nice, Alex wasn't co-operating and is killing himself laughing about it in the photo. The people at the riding school were really nice with the kids, which was great because it was the first horse ride for a couple of the girls and they looked a little nervous. By the time they got back of course they were all fanatics. Feeling a bit tired and have to get all reved up to do the family lunch tomorrow. If I survive tomorrow I may feel inclined to expand on the wonderful day had today.

This cake is approx 4 inches wide. Emma decided that she wanted this cake for her birthday party on Saturday. The reason that it is so small is that she wants everyone to get their own individual cake. Fortunately it is only a small party and I only had to make 9 of them. Each one had to be a little bit different, to make them all unique. Then one of the parents that will be at the party complained that there wouldn't be any cake for the adults, so now I have to make a cake for us to cut on the day. I'm thinking I should stop fighting it and just surrender to being insane. Possibly taking a small holiday on planet looney might help my perspective. I am actually finding myself introverting again just to stop feeling hurt or sad. Shame really because I had actually reached a point where I had decided that I really loved my friends and where my life was at. Ironically this has all been brought on by one fabulous moment where I got to really cherish a great time with some friends. Perhaps I'm just suffering from coke withdrawal. I've been two weeks without any coke. Cold turkey has been bloody hard but was obviously the only way I was going to get it out of my system. Still craving, but it's getting easier and I am still managing to resist substituting with something other than water.

Looking forward to watching the joy on Emma's face tomorrow at her birthday party. Hopefully will remember the camera this year.

Yes it's more photos of my cats doing stupid things. Missed a great opportunity to get a photo of Zeuss in the wok but was amused by these. Photo on the left looks like one of those puzzle pictures....can you find what isn't meant to be there? Zeuss is now 12 and having a kitten in the house has given him a new list of quirks. He was already really odd and now he is picking up all her wierd traits. Photo on the right was only meant to be of my new piece of furniture. It had just been delivered and I was playing around with where things should go. Emma decided the herbs should go up on the shelf. Angel decided to eat the plants. At least her breath is lovely eating all that parsley. The kids are really excited because the canisters are now within reach, one holds the biscuits and the other holds lollies. Really happy with the idea of making things a little more grown up. Painted over the bright child friendly colours and adding some not child friendly furniture is very exciting. It's sad they aren't my babies anymore but this is definately the silver lining. Getting to go out this week on a hot date with my husband is another good thing about the kids being a bit older. We went to see Wanted at Gold Class. Fancy shmancy. Great movie if you like heavy on the gory, light on the story. Worth seeing on a big screen. That's about it for now, if I manage to get the cat back into the wok will let you know.

Husband working late. Just sitting down to a medicinal bottle of wine and a plate of butter chicken and rice. Have had one of those weeks where I may have to eat the whole banana and raspberry bread I am baking. Also made a batch of choc chip cookies. Would it be really bogon to dip them in my red wine? Looks like there's nothing else for it but to break out the Buffy dvd's and have a good sob.

These are my kids helping me paint the walls. Emma had a lovely time helping and did a reasonable job. Yes I did manage to photograph the only time she accidently painted the skirting board. If you look really closely at Alex you will see his foot is on the lid of the paint can. Yes it was paint side up. You may have also noticed that when choosing an outfit to paint the house in he seems to have gone for the dinosaur look. Not sure what goes on in that childs brain. When sent to change out of his uniform so that he can help with the painting at what point when standing in front of his cupboard did the idea "dinosaur outfit" seem like a good idea? Not only did he manage to get paint all over his hands, arms and feet but he had the added bonus of a tail to drag through the paint. While he is happily painting away with the roller, his little tail waggling, the new kitten is attacking his tail. This results in the cat rubbing up against walls. Donna suggested I just keep rubbing her up the rest of the walls and call it the Burmese Suede effect. This is yet another good reason why I should not be allowed to play with Donna unsupervised because for a brief moment I was tempted. After all the challenge of getting the paint on the walls I look at it and discover that the paint that originally looked like a nice pale chocolatey colour in the patch was in fact kind of lavender. I kind of like the colour, it clashes nicely with our orange dining chairs.

I made several really important discoveries on Friday. One is that you should be really, really sure the lid is properly on your bottle of coke before you put it in your handbag. Another is that 600ml of coke is enough to allow a nav sat to do laps in my handbag. On a high note I can wash coke off leather and not ruin the handbag. Unfortunately band-aids don't seem to work after you apply coke. Tissues also are less effective once introduced to cola. Sincerely hope the powerball ticket I bought was not a winner. Good news is that ATM cards seem not to be effected by the cola. Sunglasses on the other hand have a lovely speckledy effect going on. The best bit was due to this piece of stupidity and my friends also feeling a little over everything, we went out to see Mamma Mia the movie. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Music naturally was great and it was brilliant to see the actors managed to pull of some hilarious moments. I will never look at floral decorations the same way again.

Grandma took the kids to Disney on Ice today while I had to endure two hours of shopping at the DFO. The trials I suffer for my children. It was definately much simpler for me to drop them all off at Olympic Park while I went and parked at the DFO. As I was there it would be a shame not to at least look at the shops. Having looked and discovered some shoes on sale it would be a waste of a bargain not to purchase them.
Apparently the kids really enjoyed the show, when Ben asked Emma what the best part of the show was her answer was "the end". Hmmmm. When asked to explain it made more sense, she liked it when all the characters came out together at the end. It would have been full of movement and colour.

Some days this cat makes it too easy. I had just finished cleaning out the oven. I turn to put the sponge in the sink, when I turn back the cat is sitting in the oven. Unfortunately she came out on to the door while I ran to get the camera but she was actually sitting inside the oven looking ready to bake.

today's thoughts

Alex had his second golf lesson today and loved it. Have to book him in for Saturday morning lessons. The lessons are cheap enough thank heavens, although I feel that golf clubs are going to cost me a small fortune. At least it's a nice healthy sport that doesn't involve beating the crap out of other children. Al likes to play hard as it is, so setting him loose on the smaller and weaker children in his age group is just going to result in the other kids being mown down (as nature intended) and then complaints from the parents that are trying to raise their sons to be sensitive and nurturing and know how to match throw cushions to the curtains. On a slightly less blood thirsty note Emma is learning how to make roses out of icing. She is doing very well considering I am trying to teach her a technique that doesn't use cutters, so she has to judge sizes and manipulate the shape with her fingers. Fairly difficult jobs for Emma but she did manage some quite decent work, definately age appropriate. Grandma is taking them to Something on Ice tomorrow. I was told but for some reason my mind is blocking it out. Emma should love it, will be interested to see how Alex feels when he finds out he doesn't actually get to skate.

Half way through the holidays. Love having the kids home. Alex had his first golf lesson today. He and his friend Luke spent the morning learning putting and some driving. I hope this is a golf term for hitting the ball rather than that they let my child loose in a golf cart. He had an absolute blast whatever it was they did, he now wants more golf lessons. Tomorrow is another morning of golf for him so we'll see how he feels at the end. Emma and I got to do some girly shopping, we went out and bought her some clothes and she nattered away. I think she actually felt a bit lonely without him but certainly enjoyed getting the cat to herself when we were at home. I have two cakes this week and I am aware that sitting here blogging is not getting them done, definite avoidance going on.

This is my beautiful Alex at his seventh birthday. He had a lovely time with his friends. We are very lucky that both our children are surrounded by lovely friends. He is growing up really fast, it's a bit sad to see he's not a baby anymore. He still manages to say some very funny stuff. I think we may need to get his hearing checked because the last few things have been him not correctly hearing things that were said. He was writing a note to his sister and didn't know how to spell a word. I am encouraging the use of dictionaries, so Alex comes to me and complains that he can't find the word annoying. I asked him to show me where he was looking and he was looking in the "n" section for the word "noying", as in you are a noying. Then we had a long arguement about the movie Tom Sawyer which Alex was determined the characters name was Tom Swayer. I am prepared to blame the very thick American accents for that one. Today I was messing around with the kids and told them their lunch was supercaladelicious and Alex told me I sounded like Mary Popper. I got a mental image of a cheerful Nanny who farted a lot.

This is my magnificent new kitten "Angel". See what happens when you allow the children input when naming a cat. I offered fabulous alternatives but was thwarted at every turn. She could have been Raphaelle or Gabrielle, current favourite being Devil Spawn, with an option on You...as in "Stop that You". We have just discovered that kittens can go "on heat" from 5 months of age. She is currently presenting her butt to anything that moves and some things that don't. Not sure what she thinks the wall is going to do for her but thats instinct for you. Being desexed on Tuesday (the cat not me), currently counting down in hours. The yodelling all night is driving me insane (yes I know it wouldn't be a long drive) and she is attracting every male cat in the neighbourhood. Poor Zeuss is beside himself, he wants her to be happy so he gives her a lick on the head and so she presents her butt and he is just looking at it and going "what the hell do you want me to do with that?" having been desexed several years ago. Had to have an awkward conversation with the kids to try and explain why the cat has suddenly gone mental. Worse still Emma was explaining to all the neighbours kids that Angel is unhappy because Mummy won't let her have a boyfriend. Aaargh. Should have bought goldfish.

starting out

After many wierd and wonderful emails to my husband he has pushed me into sharing some of my stranger moments. I often find myself experiencing moments that I need to share if for no other reason than to be reassured that my life is not as bizzare as I find it. Ben felt I needed to open up and let other people have a good laugh at my day. Welcome to my latest addiction, I hope you find it as diverting as we do.